Forgetfulness

It's funny how the title of my blog is "Hold On To Every Moment"
I just realized that I am not fully listening to my own advice.
Truth is, I have been picking and choosing which moments I want to keep.
Those moments are with certain people or when something spectacular happens or is said.
I am not being thankful for every person in my life, or every chance that I get to smile.
And I especially am not holding onto my current moment.
It's hard when you're at a road block in your life.
It's hard to appreciate the good and what you have when all you want is something else.
It sucks when you know what you should do, but you have no motivation.
Where is the balance of falling on your knees and staying on your feet?
How is it possible to deal with the moment while looking forward?


Is it possible to hold on to every moment?
Probably not, because we are human.
But you can always write a reminder on your hand.

AHHH

Can you look back one year and say “ahhh”?

I can! And as my best friend Steff said, “Ahhh is a great word because it covers so many different emotions at the same time!” For example here are some “ahh” moments that I have gone through this past year and they can all be read in more than one way:

“Ahhhh I graduated high school.” “Ahhhh I really went on an epic trip around the west coast.” “Ahhh I made it through freshman year and didn’t fail anything!” “Ahhhh I still have amazing friends.” “Ahhhh I now have bills to pay.” “Ahhh I wish I did that differently.” “Ahhh my sister is engaged!”

Each of these moments, and all of those in between, are memories. And if you know me at all, you know that I love holding onto moments and memories :)

Life is always changing (like Maia mentioned in her salutatorian speech!) and we have to make choices every day. But the more change there is, the more opportunities to make memories :)

Here are a very very select few pictures of my favorite memories that happened this past year!

2011 Finney Graduation (Photo taken by Justin Heim)

Epic Road Trip with my sisters!! <3

Joe made it through Beast!

Best friends hahah

New friends!

Jackson Robert was born! (picture by his father Justin Heim)

Joe's first time home! (November)

Steff and Maia graduated!

I cant wait to see what is going to happen this next year! 

Yearn

Yearn: to have an earnest or strong desire; to long; to feel tenderness; be moved or attracted.

What do you yearn for?

The comfort of your loved one?

That note to sound just right?

A laugh from an old friend?

Your parents to lay off?

A good nights sleep?

Silence?

One more day with someone you lost?

A hug from that best friend?

A big bowl of ice cream?

Your child to behave?

A moment to relax?

Another chance?

You may want these things, but do you yearn them?

To me, yearning means more than a desire. It’s more than a strong wanting. Yearning is a feeling in my heart; A heaviness that emotionally pulls me towards that person, or action. If you know me, you know I cry a lot. But when I yearn my heart is clinging to my chest so tightly that my eyes cannot even water. When I yearn I need to move, to dance. I need to do or sing something in order to get my emotions out into the world.

Do you know this feeling too? Is there something you truly yearn for?

Are you like me, expressing it in private? What good is it going to do hidden? What change to the world will it bring if no one knows it exists?

This is what my heart longs for: people.

Those I know, those I have yet to smile with, and those I will never get to meet.

My heart especially yearns for those who do not know the Lord. Those who are lost in the physical world; Trying to fill themselves with man-made desires.

My heart yearns to never be selfish. And the most selfish thing I could ever do is to keep the love the Lord has shown me a secret.

So I am writing now, in hopes that someone will read and question what or who they are living for. Because that someone or that thing will determine what you yearn for; and how you live your life.

“God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:8

What do you yearn for?

The Big Three

I realized something today and thought I should share.

In the Garden of Eden God walked with Adam and Eve! He was there with them, He talked to them, He was their friend. They had a direct connection to the Father. But then when they sinned that direct connection with God was lost.
So God sent Jesus to earth and He walked and talked with the people. Jesus was now the only connection to the Father. (John 14:6)
And when Jesus ascended into heaven, the connection that we had was again lost.
So God sent the Holy Spirit as our mediator! John 20:22 says, "And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit.""
We have the Holy Spirit now, right here with us! Not only is He on the earth, but He lives INSIDE of you!
Why would you ever take that for granted? How can you ignore that?

One last fun detail...... notice the bold words? The order that they appear are God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. (or Father, Son, Holy Spirit) That's the same order that God explains them in the Bible... right? :)

Go

In order to live,
you have to breathe with a purpose.

In order to laugh,
you have to smile.

In order to love,
you have to willingly sacrifice.


Can you do all three? ..yes? ..ok, go.


~Rae

Stupid Bubble

When I first came to Medaille (college in Buffalo NY) I was nervous and excited. I was as ready as I could be to face the world! After the first three days of fun, like riding in a dryer and watching movies with new friends, the “fun” of college was lost. My time was consumed by homework and studying and trying to keep my physical mind and body from exploding.

I’ll admit that I have been sheltered my whole life. So coming to college was a wake-up call. I immediately was labeled as the “religious girl” which is fine to me, as long as those saying it know that it’s a relationship with God, not a “be good to get to heaven religion”.

I was really excited to join the Christian group on campus called InterVarsity. However, the group is quite small, and many times we would just socialize. To me, the sessions were meaningless without prayer and digging into the Bible. I wanted to be encouraged by others who were facing the same temptations I was.

Finally, by the end of my first semester I gave up. I told God that I could face and avoid temptations on my own, and that I was just going to get through college to get my BS and be an LVT. I didn’t care if I had friends or made an impact. I wanted to be selfish, because that is the easiest road to take.

Of course God had other plans, and when I began my second semester He threw some awesome events my way. The very first meeting for IV one of our leaders, BT (Brian Tofflemire), shared from Jeremiah 29 verses 1-14. These verses talk about what God has planned for His people who are in exile. God reassures them that He will fulfill His promise. He has plans for them to “prosper and not harm, to give hope and a future”.

I have heard that verse so many times, but every time I was missing the big picture! In the verses before that, God tells them not to live in depression, but to embrace where they are, increase the population, plant gardens, and have fun! God wants them to have peace and to prosper WHERE THEY ARE. Yes, He is going to make their futures great, but why live in agony waiting for that to happen when you can live in the moment?

Why did I want to be selfish and stay in my little intellectual bubble for 4 years when I could make friends and lead people to Christ?

BT put a giant paper on the wall and made a chart of circumstances (categories) and the way that the exile would think versus the way a missionary would think.

To live in the moment, we need to think and act like missionaries. Believe that there is a purpose to where you currently are; ask God to open up your eyes so that you may see where He is working and wants to work; pray for those that are RIGHT THERE (on campus, church, small group, teachers, fellow students, dorm buildings, team members, etc); know what your mission/goal is; pray for something amazing to happen; and when you leave, don’t you want to look back and see your footprint?

I challenge you, as I am trying to do this myself, get on your knees and open your heart to God. Let Him use you. Get over that fear and selfishness that the Devil loves to put on our shoulders. God has amazing plans for us! But if we’re only thinking about ourselves, our future won’t matter when we get there.

Seek God in every moment. He’s always there, shining a light not only down the road, but a spotlight on you right now.

(PS: InterVarsity is amazing now, and I can’t wait to see how the Lord leads us on campus!)

I Believe..

I Believe... 
That just because two people argue, 
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
Likewise, just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

 

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

 

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

 

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
The same goes for true love.

 

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

 

I Believe....
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

 

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words,it may be the last time you see them.

 

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

 

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do,

no matter how we feel.

 

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

 

I Believe...
That heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, 
regardless of the consequences.

 

I Believe...
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing
and have the best time.

 

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're

down will be the ones to help you get back up.

 

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with the experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

 

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough
to be forgiven by others, 
sometimes you have to learn
to forgive yourself.

 

I Believe...
That no matter how badly
your heart is broken, 
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

 

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are, but
we are responsible for who we have become.

 

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be
so eager to find out a secret,
it could change your life forever.

 

I Believe...
Two people can look at the same
thing and see something totally different.

 

I Believe...
That your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

 

I Believe...
That even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

 

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

 

I Believe...
That the people you care about
most in life are taken from you too soon.

 

I believe..

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything,
they just make the most of everything they have.

Second Life

Home.

Home Is Comfort.

Home Is Support.

Home Is Where One Is Purely Themselves.

So Then Home Away From Home Should Be The Same.

Fit The Same Description.

Not For Me.

It’s Not Home.

It’s Another Life.

The Lord Said It’s Man’s Purpose To Glorify God,

And Enjoy A Relationship With Him.

Where Does This Second Life Fit In?

Possibly The Answer Is To Represent Christ In Every Circumstance.

And This Life Away From Home Is Just A Current Circumstance?

Another Bump In The Road.

How Come This Bump Feels Like A Dream?
A Dream That I Can't Explain.
Because No Other Mind Can Fully Understand.

It's Like I’m Not Alive Sometimes.

Like I’m Outside Of My Body.

And Most Of All, How Come When I Go Home,

It’s Like This Life Never Existed?

Will One Day These Two Lives Mesh Together?

Will One Life Accept The Other?

And Vice Versa?

Will It Get Easier To Balance Both Lives If That Recognition Happens?

Will There Come A Time When I Look Back And Say It Was Worth It?

~Rae

Jesus>Religion

"To the man who does not work but trusts God, who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness." Romans 4:5