Friday, January 1, 2016

Forced to Remember

Originally I wrote a blog titled "Holiday Blues" where I complained about the struggles of emotions throughout the holiday season. But I realized that sometimes it is best to shut up, stop complaining, and choose to be happy about what has come to pass. So, I forced myself to go through Facebook and Instagram and remember the amazing moments I had this year.

Thank you everyone who made 2015 a wonderful experience!

My man. 

My three favorite men.

Medaille graduation.

I went on a cruise to Alaska!

Ziplining through the forests, Alaskan husky mushing, horseback riding, and whales. It was spectacular and beautiful.

Doppler turned 1!

My favorite place in the entire world - Nicks Lake, ADK.

Chicago! For a whole week, and I absolutely loved it.

Experienced my first wine tour.

First time at the state fair and we befriended sea lions!

I made new friends to cherish <3

Baby Emma was born!

Taunte Chrissy beat cancer!

First Christmas spent with Oma and Opa, I will never forget.

Cheers to this wonderful year!
Thank you everyone for your love, support, and happiness.
May you have a blessed 2016!

Friday, March 6, 2015

A New Look

Recently it has dawned on me that I have been having a negative response to many aspects of my life. At the end of each day I would vent about what went wrong, and forgot about what made me smile. I would meet with friends and only talk about "I don't know what I am doing with my life" etc...
So, as a reminder to myself, and to you too, lets start having a positive look on things! Lets remember the good times, hope for more good days, encourage each other through the changes, and smile!

In honor of this happier outlook I want to say thank you to Medaille College. You gave me an amazing education, incredible teachers that are still supporting me, many great laughs, and the best freshman roommate a girl could ask for! I am sorry for all the shitty remarks on facebook and twitter, I am honored and look forward to walking the stage in my "garbage bag" in May!

Although people are moving away, having babies, getting married, etc... I will continue to fight for those I love. And to you all, thank you for loving me back <3

My current favorite song - take a listen!

Friday, February 20, 2015

Tears Hit the Pillow

Are we not supposed to love those that we have emotions for?
Are we not supposed to laugh when we think something is funny?
Are we not supposed to enjoy time spent with good company?
Are we not supposed to strive to try our hardest?
Are we not supposed to learn from our experiences and change?

Every day we learn, we grow, and we change.
We do not know what the future holds.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Joy in Trials

My best friend told me today "The experiences that you are having now are shaping you for your future. Whether it's solely teaching you to be true to yourself, or maybe showing that what you THINK is best for you really isn't. It's all a learning curve. You don't have to have everything figured out yet. And half the battle is deciding for yourself to be happy. Sometimes all it takes is you choosing. But there's a difference: you know that quote "happiness comes from happenings(it's the things that happen to you that make you happy) but joy comes from the Lord". So maybe you can't be 'happy' in the midst of suffering, trial, frustration, etc. but you can still have joy.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Rattus norvegicus

"Ewww!" "Gross!" "Eeeeek!" "Kill it!"
These are the most common exclamatory remarks spoken when someone sees or speaks about rats.
It is not often that rats are met with comments such as "Aww!" "How cute!" or "Can I pet him?"
Rats have a bad reputation because of history books, New York City tunnels, and the fact that they are in the rodent class... etc. However, they are one of the smartest and most useful little mammals around. They have contributed a lot to our human way of life from being used in labs for technical training and research, to being loving pets.

It is suspected that all rats first came from a strand in Norway or northern China. The "brown rat" can now be found on every continent except Antarctica. There are many different species of rats, all belonging to the order Rodentia. They are mammals which means they give birth to altricial young (alive, but the ears, eyes, and fur have yet to be developed). They have four short legs, long bodies, hairless tails, whiskers, and a keen sense of smell for adventure. They can grow to be about 15 inches in length from nose to tail and weigh anywhere from a couple of kilograms to a couple of pounds. They live from 2-4 years depending on whether they are in captivity or in the wild.

Rats are nocturnal, so they prefer to engage in activity at dusk. They love to dig, forage for food, and make nests. Their usual habitat lies in forests or bushy areas. They need somewhere that they can burrow to live and find food. However, many species and generations have adapted to suburban or city living, thanks to human modernization. Rodents' teeth are continually growing, so they need to feed on food that can wear them down. They are hindgut fermenters which means they have one simple stomach and thus are primarily herbivores. Their diet does need protein, so they do eat meat in the wild and protein needs to be a part of their pet diet as well. The best food to feed them in captivity is "blocks", which is a concoction of all the nutrition they need. It is compressed together in a block form so the rat has to eat it all and cannot choose what it likes better. Another fun fact about their digestive system is that rodents have no vomit reflex.

Wild rats live in colonies and are very territorial. Small colonies consist of about six females with one male, or large colonies can have many males and females. They enjoy social interaction with each other and show fear to almost all other species. This is for good reason because they are low on the food chain! Wild rats can be aggressive and show displays of fighting, chasing, and biting. Their main way of communication is body language and smell, but they do have vocal noises which can sound like anything from screaming to clicking.

Rats are social animals. They love the company of others. They enjoy chasing, wrestling, tug-of-war, cuddling, and grooming. They seek attention and desire to explore. In captivity they live a more enriched life if they live with another rat. Since they have been domesticated, and kept as pets, they have learned to enjoy humans' company. If a rat is well socialized from a young age it will enjoy the company of it's owner. Playing, getting to explore a new environment, receiving treats, and being petted is enjoyable for them. Rats can feel a human's emotions, like most animals can. If someone is scared or nervous around them, they will also become nervous and defensive. It is important to handle them with confidence and respect. Talking to them softly and giving them treats will bring a peace between the handler and the pet.

I grew up owning a lot of hamsters. I loved them because they were small and low maintenance, but they could still play and didn't have tails! Three years ago I began my lab animal course in which students learned to gavage, draw blood, and give injections to mice, rats, and rabbits. Students are given the opportunity to adopt their lab animals after their test, or the animals are euthanized and given as food to other species. I adopted my rat. It was my first time working with this species. A few weeks later I adopted a second one because I heard that they do well in pairs.

I named them Eugene and Max. 

At first, they had to get used to each other on common ground. They would fight a lot, but after a couple of days they became best friends. And they still love to wrestle!

They love to explore! 
And hide when they are scared. 

They have never tried to run away. They feel the most safe when they are near me. Their favorite place to be is in my hoodie!

They love treats and kisses!

My knowledge of rats has expanded thanks to this research opportunity. I am thankful to now know their history, and their desire for social activity. I have known the love of my rats for years, but now I know that almost all rats can be well socialized no matter their age or temperament. The rat species has helped advance our science department, and has opened our hearts to love these little creatures. They may fit in our hands, have weird long tails, and not live very long, but they give you all that they have. Next time you see these little creatures, remember how important they are. I know that out of all the rodents I have loved, these two boys have changed my life forever.

In Loving Memory of Max. January 2012 - February 10, 2014


Thursday, January 16, 2014

My Opposite

Stephanie and I are opposites,
We have different families,
We have different faults and gifts,
We have different perspectives,
We have made different mistakes,
We love differently,
We laugh differently,
We cry differently.
But we are each other's family,
Our gifts help the other's faults,
Our perspectives have grown by listening to each other,
We have learned from each other's mistakes,
We love, laugh, and cry together.
My life wouldn't be complete without her, my opposite, my other half.

Thank you Lord for Steff <3
Happy Birthday :)

Thursday, July 12, 2012


It's funny how the title of my blog is "Hold On To Every Moment"
I just realized that I am not fully listening to my own advice.
Truth is, I have been picking and choosing which moments I want to keep.
Those moments are with certain people or when something spectacular happens or is said.
I am not being thankful for every person in my life, or every chance that I get to smile.
And I especially am not holding onto my current moment.
It's hard when you're at a road block in your life.
It's hard to appreciate the good and what you have when all you want is something else.
It sucks when you know what you should do, but you have no motivation.
Where is the balance of falling on your knees and staying on your feet?
How is it possible to deal with the moment while looking forward?

Is it possible to hold on to every moment?
Probably not, because we are human.
But you can always write a reminder on your hand.

Sunday, June 10, 2012


Can you look back one year and say “ahhh”?

I can! And as my best friend Steff said, “Ahhh is a great word because it covers so many different emotions at the same time!” For example here are some “ahh” moments that I have gone through this past year and they can all be read in more than one way:
“Ahhhh I graduated high school.” “Ahhhh I really went on an epic trip around the west coast.” “Ahhh I made it through freshman year and didn’t fail anything!” “Ahhhh I still have amazing friends.” “Ahhhh I now have bills to pay.” “Ahhh I wish I did that differently.” “Ahhh my sister is engaged!”

Each of these moments, and all of those in between, are memories. And if you know me at all, you know that I love holding onto moments and memories :)

Life is always changing (like Maia mentioned in her salutatorian speech!) and we have to make choices every day. But the more change there is, the more opportunities to make memories :)
Here are a very very select few pictures of my favorite memories that happened this past year!

2011 Finney Graduation (Photo taken by Justin Heim)
Epic Road Trip with my sisters!! <3
Joe made it through Beast!
Best friends hahah
New friends!
Jackson Robert was born! (picture by his father Justin Heim)

Joe's first time home! (November)
Steff and Maia graduated!

I cant wait to see what is going to happen this next year! 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Yearn: to have an earnest or strong desire; to long; to feel tenderness; be moved or attracted.
What do you yearn for?
The comfort of your loved one?
That note to sound just right?
A laugh from an old friend?
Your parents to lay off?
A good nights sleep?
One more day with someone you lost?
A hug from that best friend?
A big bowl of ice cream?
Your child to behave?
A moment to relax?
Another chance?
You may want these things, but do you yearn them?
To me, yearning means more than a desire. It’s more than a strong wanting. Yearning is a feeling in my heart; A heaviness that emotionally pulls me towards that person, or action. If you know me, you know I cry a lot. But when I yearn my heart is clinging to my chest so tightly that my eyes cannot even water. When I yearn I need to move, to dance. I need to do or sing something in order to get my emotions out into the world.
Do you know this feeling too? Is there something you truly yearn for?
Are you like me, expressing it in private? What good is it going to do hidden? What change to the world will it bring if no one knows it exists?
This is what my heart longs for: people.
Those I know, those I have yet to smile with, and those I will never get to meet.
My heart especially yearns for those who do not know the Lord. Those who are lost in the physical world; Trying to fill themselves with man-made desires.
My heart yearns to never be selfish. And the most selfish thing I could ever do is to keep the love the Lord has shown me a secret.
So I am writing now, in hopes that someone will read and question what or who they are living for. Because that someone or that thing will determine what you yearn for; and how you live your life.
“God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:8
What do you yearn for?